


If You Were Here Beside Me, Instead of In New York

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Ross/Rachel, Developing Relationship, F/M, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Series, Realizations, Ross Being Mature, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: After her relationship with Ross ends after only a few months, Rachel visits Joey in Los Angeles. Joey still loves her, but he doesn't believe that he has a chance with her...





	If You Were Here Beside Me, Instead of In New York

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 1st Friday Madness "Rare Pairs" special in March. This was a labor of love for me and a personal challenge, since I usually pretend that the breakup in season 10 didn't happen. The original fic is posted here: http://fffc.livejournal.com/150977.html. Since this fic is longer than a typical one shot, the section breaks indicate a time skip or scene change that might be a chapter in a multi-chapter work.

_"I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents... Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her."_

The advice had been meant for Ross, but Joey hoped that it would eventually apply to him. It wasn't the stated reason he had moved to Los Angeles. The job opportunities out here were simply better for actors, especially in film and television, which Joey had always been more successful at than he had in theater. With Chandler and Monica moving out to Westchester with the twins, Rachel moving to Paris for her new job, and Phoebe getting married to Mike, it felt like the right time to take a step forward in his life as well. But he did want to get over Rachel someday and not just the way all of his friends assumed that he had after the break up, where he acted like he was fine on the surface and hid how much it hurt to know that he had lost his chance with the only woman he ever loved.

New York and Los Angeles weren't on different continents, but Rachel was on the other side of the country. If Joey ever had a chance of getting over her, he could hopefully do it out here.

Joey had been out in L.A. for a few months, and he was starting to settle into a life that was not what he wanted most (that life wasn't possible, he knew) but was comfortable nonetheless. He spent a lot of time with his sister Gina and his nephew Michael since he was living with them and threw himself into his acting career. He had gone on a few dates, but none of them compared to the two dates he had been on with with Rachel. He wasn't sure if he could ever find someone that could make him feel like Rachel did, but Joey kept putting himself out there and trying, again and again. She was happy with Ross now, and Joey wanted a chance to be happy too.

He got the news during a routine call with Chandler, who was updating him on how things were in New York. Chandler had just explained how Phoebe had recently discovered she was pregnant with Mike's child, and then he casually mentioned that Ross and Rachel had broken up again.

For a moment, Joey couldn't breathe, much less speak. His heart was pounding in his ears, and he could barely hear Chandler's story about something one of the twins did.

"What? Go back," Joey demanded.

He could imagine Chandler frowning over the other side of the phone. "To the beginning of the story about Jack?"

"No, I mean..." Joey paused and sat down on a stool in front of the kitchen counter at Gina's house. "Ross and Rachel broke up again?"

"Yeah, Rachel called Monica and told her about it last week. Apparently, Rachel and Ross had some kind of fight about his jealousy issues or something. I don't know."

Joey shook his head. Really, jealousy issues? He felt like he was back in the 90s. He had expected after the dramatic events just before he left that Ross and Rachel would work things out permanently and no longer have those kinds of problems. She got off the plane for him and gave up her dream job for him, and now they weren't even together anymore?

He had left New York thinking that Rachel and Ross were happy and reunited forever, and now they weren't. Rachel was probably miserable, and worst of all, she was more alone than she had ever been after one of these breakups. Joey wasn't there to comfort her, and Monica and Chandler weren't even living in the city anymore.

"Is she okay? Did she cry?"

"Monica?" Chandler sounded confused.

"Rachel!" Joey couldn't help showing his irritation.

"Oh, well, I don't know. I wasn't on the phone, and I haven't talked to her since then."

Joey rolled his eyes. "Can I talk to Monica, then?"

"She's at work right now."

"Okay, I'm calling Rachel."

"Joey, are you still--?"

Joey knew what the full question was, and he didn't really want to get into it. It didn't matter that he was still in love with Rachel and would probably always be. That wasn't why he wanted to call her. He just wanted to make sure that Rachel was okay, or as okay as she could be, considering the circumstances.

"I'll talk to you later, Chandler."

"Yeah, talk to you later, man." Chandler sounded worried and Joey wished that his friend wasn't able to read him so well, even without being able to see his facial expressions, which were probably broadcasting everything he felt.

After he ended the phone call with Chandler, Joey stared down at his hands for a couple of moments, trying to process everything he had just learned.

Rachel and Ross weren't together anymore.

Rachel was single again.

Joey bit his lower lip. That still didn't mean he had a chance with her. Their breakup had nothing to do with Ross, after all, at least not on the surface. Joey couldn't help feeling worried that their relationship hurt Ross, especially after that disastrous dinner where Ross had said he was fine but clearly wasn't. A part of him felt like it was wrong to be with Rachel if it ended up hurting his friend.

But that felt so unfair, too. Because as much as Ross was still obviously hung up on Rachel, he had his chance with her. Multiple chances, and Joey had only one chance that had felt doomed from the beginning. Ross and Rachel had never been able to make it work long-term since the first time they broke up. Joey had thought that they would this time, but apparently not.

Thinking of that made Joey remember that Rachel was probably pretty upset right now. He punched in the numbers for her cell phone, tapping his foot as he waited for her to pick up.

"Hey, Joey! I was just about to call you! Mr. Zellner wanted me to go to L.A. in a couple of weeks for my job."

Joey smiled. "Really?"

"I have to go to a few meetings, but we'll definitely have time to catch up too."

"That's great, Rach. I'm looking forward to seeing you."

"Me too. I've missed you a lot." Joey's smile softened at that particular admission. He loved hearing that from her, even if she didn't mean it in the way he wished she did. "So, why did you call me?"

The smile faded from Joey's face. Rachel had sounded so happy when she talked about her upcoming trip, and bringing up the breakup with Ross would probably depress her.

Joey tried to approach the subject carefully. "I was just wondering how you were. Uh, Chandler mentioned that you and Ross broke up."

Rachel sighed. "Yeah, I really thought things would work this time, but I guess I was wrong." She sniffled, and Joey wished he could hug her. "I just feel kind of stupid now."

"You're not stupid," Joey said. "I'm sorry that I brought it up. I was just worried about you."

"Oh, honey, that's so sweet. But I'll be okay, really."

Rachel guided the conversation to other topics, and Joey willingly went along with the change in subject. By the time the conversation ended, she seemed to be happy again. That was all Joey wanted, to know that Rachel was happy, or at the very least, okay. He ended the conversation with a grin on his face. He had missed Rachel a lot, and he was glad that he got a chance to see her again.

* * *

Two weeks later, Joey was standing at an airport gate and fidgeting with a bouquet in his hands. When he had stopped at the florist on his way to the airport, he had agonized over what to get for a long time. A bouquet with just roses seemed too romantic, and one with only lilies was an even more significant gesture that would be too much of a reminder of their first date. So many of the others were nice, but they just didn't seem good enough for Rachel.

Then again, Joey would think that nothing would ever be good enough for Rachel. He eventually settled on a mixed bouquet with lilies and some other flowers. It seemed to communicate what Joey wanted to say without saying too much.

He watched a series of people stream out of the gate until he finally spotted her approaching him. Just the sight of her smiling face was enough to give him butterflies.

"Oh, Joey! You brought flowers! That is so sweet, thank you!" She lifted the flowers out of his hands and took a sniff. She waved her hand in front of her face, and Joey could see that she was starting to tear up.

"Oh no, Rach! I didn't mean to make you cry!"

She grinned and laughed, but her eyes were still watery. "Good tears, I swear!" Rachel reached forward to hug him, and Joey wrapped his arms around her, trying to ignore the way she fit perfectly into his arms (and failing, of course).

She pulled away from the hug and reached down to get her suitcase, but Joey stopped her. "I'll get that."

"Honey, you don't have to..."

"But I want to. Now, tell me how things have been in New York."

Joey led them outside to Gina's waiting car and Rachel followed, talking about a few things that had happened over the past couple of weeks. She didn't bring up the breakup with Ross, and Joey decided not to mention it on her first night there.

Joey introduced Rachel to his sister after putting her luggage in the trunk.

"It's nice to meet you," Gina said. "I've heard a lot about you."

Her expression might have seemed mildly pleasant to people who didn't know her like Joey did, but Joey could tell that she was smirking at him. He gave a quick glare to Gina to tell her to drop it, and she blinked at him with false innocence. He gave a smile to Rachel before entering the car and asking about Emma.

"She's staying with Ross, since I will only be here for a week," Rachel explained.

When they got home, Rachel was introduced to Michael and everyone had dinner at the house. After a couple of hours, Rachel left for her hotel since she had an early meeting the next morning.

"So, Rachel's the one that you're in love with, right?" Michael asked.

"Don't you have other things to focus on?" Joey asked defensively. "Like your own love life?"

Michael shrugged and put his hands up. "Fine, forget I asked." He cast a meaningful glance at Gina and Joey rolled his eyes at both of them. He just planned to support Rachel as a friend. His family (as well as Chandler) needed to get that through their heads and needed to stop reading into him so well.

* * *

A couple of days later, Rachel was free during lunch, so Joey took her out to a restaurant within a few minutes of Gina's house.

"So, the big star Joey Tribbiani is taking me out for lunch in L.A. Will we have to watch out for paparazzi?" Rachel joked.

"I'm not that much of a big deal here. I have gotten recognized a couple of times, but it's not like I'm an A-lister." Joey opened the door so that they could enter the restaurant.

"Well, you'll always be a celebrity to me."

Joey requested a patio table since it was a pleasant day and talked about the things he had acted in since moving to L.A. He had gotten a few small parts so far, and was hoping to get a part in a pilot next season.

"Big things are gonna happen for you, Joey. I can feel it."

Joey smiled, feeling warmth at Rachel's faith in him. She had always been very supportive of his career ambitions. The hostess informed them that their table was ready, and the pair walked outside.

"Wow, it's so nice out here. I bet you can do this all year, not like in New York."

"L.A. does have its advantages."

Rachel grinned and took off her sunglasses since their table was shaded by an umbrella.

"Yeah, it does. I don't remember you having this much of a tan back home." She touched his arm, briefly and lightly, but it still felt like a lot to Joey, who swallowed heavily. It almost seemed like she was flirting with him, but Joey told himself to ignore that hopeful idea.

The waiter came by, and Rachel and Joey ordered their drinks. Joey carefully watched Rachel as she looked over the menu, noting that she seemed content. If he didn't know better, he would assume that she hadn't just broken up with the love of her life again.

"Rachel?" She glanced up from her menu. "How are you really? I mean, since the thing with you and Ross."

She sighed. "Honestly, sweetie, I'm fine. It wasn't like the first time I broke up with him, you know."

Joey nodded, frowning as he remembered the awful fight and how he, Chandler, Phoebe and Monica had heard the entire thing from Monica's room. That event seemed like a lifetime ago, back before Emma was born, before Rachel had lived with him, before Chandler and Monica were together. So many things had changed since then, but Ross and Rachel really hadn't.

Joey shook his head. "I'm glad it wasn't that bad. But the way he was talking before I left, made it seem like this was going to be it, you know?"

"I know. That's why I got off the plane." She laughed, but she sounded sad rather than amused.

"Rach?" He reached his hand forward, and Rachel took it.

"You know what the saddest thing of all is?" She didn't give him a chance to respond before she answered herself. "When it was all over, I didn't feel bad because it ended again. No, I was just standing there thinking that I gave up Paris for something that couldn't even last a year. And that's the part I regret most."

He frowned as he tried to understand what she was saying. "You wish you had gotten on the plane?"

For the first time since the conversation began, tears came to her eyes. "I do."

Joey tightened his grip on her hand as the waiter came by with their drinks. He waved him off to indicate that they weren't ready to order food yet.

He hadn't meant to make Rachel cry. He just wanted her to have a nice vacation. "We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

Rachel nodded. "No, I want to. I need to talk about this."

The way she spoke made it seem like she hadn't really discussed this in depth with their other friends yet. Rachel paused for a moment to gather her words and swiftly wiped away the few tears that had fallen on her cheeks. Joey watched her, admiring her strength.

"The thing with Ross and me is that we never broke up like a normal couple, you know? So I kept thinking that, maybe, if I just gave it another chance, it would work. But I think we tried to drag it out way past its expiration date."

"I don't think relationships have an expiration date, Rach. Food, however, definitely does. I've found that out the hard way a few times."

Rachel giggled, and Joey was relieved to see a smile appear on her face. "Oh, sweetie, you always know how to make me laugh."

"That's what I'm here for."

"But really, I'm okay. I think Ross and me just work better as exes with a kid who are still friends."

"Is that what you want?" Joey wondered.

Rachel shrugged. "It is what is. And I think just accepting it will be better than trying to force something that doesn't work anymore."

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

Rachel grinned at him gratefully. "I appreciate that." Her attention returned to the menu, and she seemed more centered and peaceful after their talk, as if she simply needed to get all of that off her chest.

* * *

The next evening, Rachel and Joey were hanging out at the house while Michael and Gina were both out on dates. It struck Joey as odd that he would be the dateless one on a Saturday night. Years ago, it would have been unthinkable for Joey to be dateless on a Saturday night, but things had changed for him since his twenties. Right now, there was no where else he would rather be than here, watching T.V. with his friend.

If his heart beat a little too quickly when Rachel leaned her head against his shoulder, that would be something Joey would have to learn to ignore. It's not like he hadn't had to conceal his feelings around Rachel before. But it was so much more difficult with her sitting right next to him, her mere presence reminding him  of exactly why he loved her so much and would never be able to get over her as long as he lived.

Joey vainly attempted to focus on the television and sought to ignore the tension that he was sure was one-sided by this point. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't really follow the plot of the sitcom they had been watching with Rachel sitting so close to him. The conversations they had recently and the fact that Rachel was single again and seemed to have finally let go of the idea of her and Ross ending up together made Joey feel a little bit dizzy.

But that doesn't mean you have a chance with her, Joey reminded himself for what felt like the millionth time.

Joey released a weary sigh.

Rachel glanced up at him. "Are you okay?"

He gazed away from the commercial that was airing to see her blue eyes, dimmed by the glow of the television screen. Joey felt like she was trying to search into his soul, and he had to look away before he ended up spilling everything.

"I'm fine. Are you doing okay?"

Rachel nodded, and she didn't look away from him. It reminded him of how she used to look at him during the brief time they had been together. Joey had to stop thinking about that.

She nodded. "I've just been thinking a lot about stuff."

"What about?"

Rachel glanced down, almost as if she was nervous, but she had no reason to be nervous, or that was what Joey assumed. At least until her hand reached down to his, until her fingers ghosted over his before tentatively intertwining with his.

Joey must have passed out. It was the only explanation for Rachel holding his hand like this. Joey had been the platonic best friend that could hold Rachel during a scary movie, a long time ago. He was relieved after everything they had been through that she still felt comfortable enough around him to let him be the guy she leaned her head against while they watched T.V. But Joey never expected to be the guy whose hand she would hold again.

Rachel took a deep breath and stared back up at him with a vulnerable look in her eyes that made Joey want to give her the entire world, if he could. "Do you ever think that maybe we gave up on us too soon?"

Yes. Every day. Joey didn't say those words, but Rachel must have seen what he was thinking, because her grip tightened on his hand. He struggled to formulate a reasonable response. "Is that what you're thinking?"

Rachel smiled stiffly. "Yeah. I mean, we were good together, weren't we?"

Joey laughed without a trace of humor. It seemed like the better thing to do than cry. "We barely lasted a week, Rach."

"I know, but we were happy. I think if we had just given it more of a chance..." She paused and bit her lip. "It felt like we had the world stacked against us, and maybe if we hadn't..."

Rachel was voicing all of the thoughts Joey had been trying to suppress for more than a year. Considering their current circumstances, Joey didn't know if he should get his hopes up yet. "Rach, is this about the fact you ended things with Ross a month ago?" It was the only logical reason he could think of for this unexpected overture. In her vulnerability, Rachel must have clung to the memory of them together as something safe and familiar. There was no way she felt the same way he did.

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Joey, this doesn't have anything to do with Ross."

Joey could see the conviction in her eyes, but he still felt twisted up in knots. Even from thousands of miles away, the specter of Ross felt like it was hanging over his head, putting a dark cloud over this moment with Rachel.

"I'm going to tell you what I've been thinking, okay?" Joey nodded, not sure if he was ready to hear what she had to say.

Rachel frowned down at their joined hands. "I've been thinking about us since before I broke up with Ross. Since before you left for L.A., if I'm going to be honest about how stupid I was."

"I wish you had told me," Joey replied softly. If he had any idea there was still a chance, maybe he wouldn't have left.

"I should have," Rachel admitted. "But I thought that since we hadn't worked out, I shouldn't bring it up."

"What changed your mind?"

"I've been thinking over a lot of decisions I made recently, how things in my life could have gone differently if I had taken a different path. If I hadn't been so scared of things changing, of taking a risk."

Joey frowned. Rachel hadn't been weak, at least not any more than he had been.

"Like the Paris thing?" he asked, recalling all that she had said about it in the past month.

Her smile was gentle, almost shy. "Like you."

Joey was only human, and Rachel was sitting in front of him, asking for another chance. He still knew there were lingering issues they needed to resolve (Ross, chiefly, and the fact that Rachel would be heading back to New York in a few days) but Joey pushed those to the back of his mind. He lifted the hand she wasn't holding to brush her hair away from her cheek, and Rachel's eyes lit up.

"I was worried I might be too late," she said.

"It's never too late with you," he murmured. It was one of the truest things he had ever confessed in his life. Joey leaned in slowly, worried that perhaps it would be a bit too much too soon. But it wasn't, because she closed her eyes and accepted the kiss. Rachel didn't suddenly dissolve like she sometimes did in his dreams, because it was perfectly real, for once. Every ounce of passion he had felt when they were together returned, and Joey gladly drowned under the tidal wave of ecstasy. God, he loved her.

He stilled as he heard the jangling sound of keys in the door. He pulled away and chuckled when he saw Rachel pouting at the fact that he had ended the kiss.

"What?" she asked. Now she was blushing.

He beamed. "You're gonna have to stop blushing like that, or I'll have to kiss you again right in front of my nephew or sister."

Rachel's blush darkened, and Michael entered the room. Rachel straightened, attempting to act like everything was normal, and Joey followed her lead but likely ruined the effect with the small, lovesick smile that remained on his face after their kiss.

"So, uh, how was your date, Michael?" Rachel asked.

Michael shrugged. "It went pretty well. I think I'll probably go for a second date with Valerie next week." He paused, and his eyes darted between the two of them quickly. His left eyebrow lifted in an expression very similar to Gina's when she figured something out. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Rachel glanced over at the wall, where a clock displayed the time. "I was just about to leave, since it's getting kind of late, and I have some work stuff tomorrow." She nudged his arm gently, and Joey could tell that she wanted a chance to talk with him outside in private.

"Right, yeah. That makes sense." Rachel got up from the couch and walked out, and Joey followed her, ignoring the smirk Michael was giving him as he left.

They strode outside, and Joey closed the door behind them.

Rachel turned to him and awkwardly rocked back and forth on her high-heeled boots. "So..."

Joey nodded, feeling more than a little strange himself. "So..."

Rachel was the first one to say something intelligible. "That was, uh, that was one hell of a kiss back there." She grinned. "Was that your way of saying you wanted us to try again?"

Joey took Rachel's hand and pulled her closer. "I figured I would show you how I felt." He shrugged. "I'm not always so great with the words."

She tilted her head, squinting as she pretended to consider something. "You've had your moments."

Gina's porch light framed Rachel's hair and created a halo effect. She looked like an angel, and Joey couldn't have stopped the words from pouring out even if he had tried. "I love you. I know that's a little soon, but--"

Joey's breath caught when Rachel lifted her fingers to his lips. "Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for that, okay?" Joey nodded, too dumbstruck to do anything else when he witnessed the thoughtful, serious look in her eyes. "I love you, too."

Joey could breathe again, and he grinned so hard his cheeks hurt. She had returned the sentiment before, but that had been when they broke up. That was an ending, and this felt like a beginning. Rachel giggled and leaned up to kiss him, and Joey melted into a pile of goo. For all the other women he had been with, none of them had ever affected him the way Rachel had with just a kiss or a smile.

Rachel pulled back to breathe, and Joey clasped their hands tightly between his. "I really want this to work with us. I know you have to go back to New York in a few days, and I know I probably need to talk to Ross tomorrow..." Joey sighed at that revelation. He hoped to God that Ross would be okay with this. Joey didn't want to contemplate having his heart broken for the third time. But if Ross freaked out about them, would they stand a chance? "I... I really want this to work."

Rachel squeezed his hands. "I really want this to work, too. Seal it with a goodnight kiss?"

Joey nodded and Rachel moved forward for a simple, yet meaningful kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow, honey."

Joey released her hands and allowed her to step back. "Good night, Rach."

"Good night." Rachel seemed reluctant, but she walked over to her rental car and got inside. Joey watched her drive away, waving until she was no longer in his sight.

* * *

After being interrogated (Joey would say affectionately) by Michael and then Gina, Joey claimed that he needed to go to bed early that night since he would be shooting a guest spot on a TV show the next day.

Joey tossed and turned in the sheets for an hour and a half before he finally managed to fall asleep. Half of it was from excitement. Rachel loved him, and they kissed. After everything they had been through together, Joey had assumed that was no longer possible. It's every dream he ever had and dreams that he wasn't creative enough to imagine. Yet, as joyful as he was, he was also scared of Ross's reaction. Joey knew he was way past the point of ever being able to not love Rachel, but he wanted to keep his friendship with Ross intact too.

The next day, he ate a quick breakfast with Michael and Gina and said goodbye to them with a tight smile before heading off to work. He focused on his scenes that day with a laser precision and let work serve as a distraction from his worries. He did so well, in fact, that he arrived home before Michael or Gina and walked into an empty house. He took his cell phone out of his pocket to check the time and added three hours to get the time in New York. He figured that Ross should be out of his classes but not eating dinner yet. Joey had a small window to call Ross and tell him what's been going on.

Joey sighed, fiddling with his phone and ambling outside for unnecessary privacy as a distraction technique. He was definitely nervous about this phone call, but he needed to do it immediately. He needed to talk to Ross before he found out on his own and another "fajita incident" ensued. Joey definitely didn't want that.

What was it Phoebe used to say? Something about ripping off a Bandaid? Well, that usually hurt pretty badly, but he knew it was nothing compared to that wax stuff the girls used. And maybe she was right that it would only hurt worse if you tried to pull the Bandaid off slowly.

No time like the present. Joey pulled up his list of contacts and pressed the button to call Ross's phone. He paced on his sister's patio and listened to the phone ring a couple of times before he heard Ross's voice.

"Hey, Joey. How's it going?"

Joey drew in a quick breath. Deep breaths. Don't pass out. "I'm okay. I, uh, kind of need to talk to you about something. Are you free right now?"

Part of Joey hated that he had to do this over the phone. He wouldn't be able to see Ross's facial expressions, so he would have no idea how Ross really took this news.

"Yeah, you actually caught me at a good time. I just got out of a session with Dr. Alfisi." Joey couldn't see Ross, but based on his tone of voice, he imagined that Ross would be smiling.

Joey squinted at the unfamiliar name. "Is that, uh, some new dinosaur person at NYU?"

Ross laughed. "No, Joe. He's actually my therapist. I started talking to him after, uh, after I broke up with Rachel."

He doesn't sound overly upset, Joey thought. Maybe a little awkward talking about the breakup. That would make sense. Joey talked to all of his friends, including Ross, at least once a week, but he had never discussed the breakup with him. Frankly, it felt pretty weird for Joey to talk about Ross and Rachel's relationship. It had nearly broken Joey to encourage Ross to pursue Rachel just before he left for L.A., but Ross's distress at the time had taken precedence over his own internal turmoil.

It took Joey a full minute to process everything Ross had said, but once he did, he had to sit down because he felt like he was about to collapse. He had to stare out at Gina's pool just to have something else to focus on besides the impending disaster.

"Wow, I, uh, I didn't know you were so depressed about you guys that you had to go into therapy for it." Shit, what the hell was he going to do? Would Rachel being with someone else actually kill Ross or something?

"What? Oh, Joey, no, that's not what I meant."

"What the hell did you mean then?" His voice rises in his confusion and panic. "You're in therapy?!"

"Yeah, but, uh, not because I couldn't handle the breakup."

A part of Joey can't really believe Ross, even though he doesn't sound especially mopey or despairing the way he had the first time he broke up with Rachel (or when some of the other relationships he had over the years had ended). If Joey didn't know better, he would swear that Ross sounded fine, and not that fake fine he had with the fajita incident. But how could anyone be fine without Rachel? Joey knew he had concealed his own depression after his brief relationship with Rachel had ended. It didn't seem like Ross would do the same thing (he was usually so demonstrative with his emotions and pretty easy to read for as smart as he was), but maybe he had changed somehow.

Joey rubbed his head, which was starting to hurt from thinking so much. "Joey, you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm confused, why are you in therapy exactly?"

"Truth be told, I probably should have gotten therapy a long time ago. I developed maladaptive relationship patterns and destructive cognitive distortions after what I went through with Carol's infidelity, and I haven't been the same since. Dr. Alfisi is helping me to address the subconscious issues that have negatively impacted my emotional life with the goal of helping me become a more balanced person with the capacity for healthier relationships."

Joey's head definitely hurt now. Ross sounded like he had vomited the thesaurus at him. "Huh?"

Ross sighed. "I've had some jealousy and trust issues for a while that made it hard for me to keep a girlfriend," he explained. "That's what the therapy is for."

"Oh, well, you could have just said that."

Ross sighed again, and Joey pictured Ross rolling his eyes at him. Hey, if he wanted Joey to understand him, he shouldn't have used that gobbledygook mumbo jumbo.

"So, uh, the therapy isn't about Rachel?" Joey needed to confirm that for his own peace of mind.

"It's more about me, really." He huffed out a small laugh. "Rachel was right all along, though. She mentioned this to me years ago."

"Yeah, well, Rachel's pretty smart." Admiration crept into Joey's tone, and he only realized how fond he had sounded after he had spoken.

Ross paused, and Joey felt like you could cut the tension between them with a knife. "I think I know what this is about," Ross murmured. He was so quiet that Joey could barely hear him. If they were speaking in person, Ross would have been speaking to himself and not even looking at Joey at that moment.

"You do?"

"Monica mentioned this to me. It all makes sense now."

Did Chandler say something to Monica, and then it somehow got to Ross? "It does?"

"You're still in love with her. You never... you never stopped loving her, did you?"

"Ross--" Joey interrupted.

"You, you encouraged me to go after her."

Joey chuckled weakly, unsure where Ross was going with this. "At the time, I thought that was what would make you happy. Make her happy."

"Joey, that's... incredibly selfless of you, actually."

Of all the things he had expected Ross to say, he wouldn't have predicted that.

"Okay, you still like dinosaurs right?"

There was a brief silence. "Uh... yes?"

Joey let out a relieved breath. "I was just checking that you were still Ross."

Ross chuckled warmly. "I'm still Ross. I'm just trying to be more mature and realize that the world doesn't revolve around me for a change."

Joey sighed. "You're allowed to feel weird about this, you know." He would have expected Ross to be angry or upset, or something other than unsurprised and fondly amused.

"You and Rachel isn't about me, though. If you guys want to be together, it's not really any of my business one way or another. I support whatever makes you happy."

Joey pulled away his cell phone from his ear for a moment and stared at it in disbelief. But the display still said that he was talking to Ross. He held his cell phone back in its previous position.

"You're taking this really well," Joey commented.

"I was kind of expecting this to happen. It was inevitable."

"What do you mean?"

"Now that I think about it, Rachel was really sad after you moved out to L.A. Not that we all weren't, of course, but it just seemed deeper with her... like part of her was missing or something."

Joey took a moment to absorb what Ross had said, along with Ross's tone of voice. Ross seemed reflective and calm, but Joey wished he could see his face and try to determine if he was only pretending to be fine. If he was, he was doing a much better job than he had a year ago.

"Are you... I mean you and her..." Joey clenched his eyes shut in frustration. Why was it so hard for him to get the words out? "Are you really okay with this, Ross? Like actually okay and not just trying to be 'mature' or whatever?" That's what it really came down to, for Joey. As much as he wanted to be with Rachel, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for hurting Ross.

"I'm all right, Joey. Really. I am." Ross sounded certain and steady. "I think maybe I was never supposed to end up with Rachel and you were. I mean, clearly you're still crazy about her. And I know you would do anything to make her happy. That's what really matters."

Joey let a small smile appear on his face. Ross didn't seem to be heartbroken or still hung up on Rachel. This entire conversation had gone much better than Joey had feared that it would. "I guess that Phoebe is going to be kind of disappointed that her lobster theory was wrong."

Ross laughed. "She'll get over it. I'll explain to her that lobsters don't actually mate for life."

"They don't?"

"Guess I'll have to explain that to you as well," Ross teased. He went on to some convoluted explanation that Joey pretended to follow along with, and Joey felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Strangely enough, despite the momentous change that had occurred, nothing had seemed to change between Ross and Joey. Ross seemed content to joke with him, and Joey was glad that the mood was so easily lightened after their important conversation.

* * *

Joey called Rachel when he knew that she would be finished with work for the day.

She quickly picked up. "Hey, Joey! How was your day?"

He could picture Rachel smiling over the phone. He couldn't stop grinning either. "It went well. Ross was totally fine with it, like fine fine."

She laughed. "So he didn't get all squeaky like he did the first time?"

"Nope. He didn't seem all that surprised, really. And he didn't seem to be really upset about you and him not being together, either."

"Yeah, I didn't think he would be too upset, but that's good to hear."

Joey sighed. "It was a definite relief." The last thing he had wanted to do was hurt Ross. That had been his biggest fear ever since he had first started to fall in love with Rachel, and for once, Joey felt that burden completely lifted from his shoulders.

Joey smirked and let a sly tone enter his voice. "I was thinking I could take you out for dinner tonight."

"I'd love that. I guess this would be the third date won't it."

"Third time's the charm?"

"I have a feeling it will be," Rachel replied.

* * *

The next morning, Joey woke up in Rachel's bed at her hotel room. The date last night had gone wonderfully, and when Rachel asked him to come into her room, that had gone wonderfully as well. It was as if the previous problems they had at this stage had never occurred. Rachel had apparently gotten over her slapping tendency, and Joey no longer had difficulties undoing the clasp on Rachel's bra. No unfortunate incidents involving recliners and misplaced knees occurred. All Joey could conclude is that they were supposed to be together all along and that maybe it was finally the right time for them.

The only awkward thing was that Rachel shifted frequently in her sleep, which woke Joey up several times. But he didn't mind that he got more time to watch her sleep, even if that meant he would be exhausted the next day. Eventually, he would get used to it. Joey was looking forward to getting used to every single undiscovered quirk of Rachel's.

He sat up, rubbed his hand over his face, and tiredly watched as a robed-clad Rachel paid for the room service she had ordered while Joey was asleep. She wheeled the cart over near the bed and sat down next to him with a bright grin.

"Morning, hon." She gave him a brief kiss.

Joey smiled, sleepily but still full of warm affection. "Morning."

Rachel pulled the covers off of their dishes. "I got us pancakes. And coffee." She blushed and ran her hand through her hair. "I figured the coffee should help. I know I get kind of restless in my sleep."

Joey leaned in to give her a kiss that lingered for several seconds. "I don't mind, but the breakfast was really sweet of you. This is why I love you so much."

She smirked. "Because I brought you food?"

Joey laughed. "Well, that doesn't hurt."

Rachel shook her head. "I'll keep that in my mind."

The couple started their breakfast, and a comfortable silence ensued as they ate together. Joey was struck by how right it felt to be with Rachel like this, eating breakfast together the morning after their first night together. He was always comfortable with Rachel, and he never wanted to let her go.

"I... I'm thinking I should move back to New York now. To be with you." The words were spontaneous, but they felt right to say.

Rachel looked up at him in surprise. She stopped sipping at her coffee and put down her mug. "What?"

"It will probably take me a couple of weeks to find an apartment and pack all my stuff--"

"Joey, are you sure you want that? What about moving out here to pursue your dream?"

"You're my dream, too."

She smiled, clearly flattered by that remark, and then she frowned in thought.

Joey felt nervous. "Look, if I was coming on too fast--"

Rachel clasped his hand. Joey was reassured by her caring expression. "It's not that I don't want to be in the same city with you. It's just, I don't want you to give up your chances in L.A. for me. Not yet, not when you've barely started out here. It's only been a few months."

He could tell by her determined yet far away expression that she had been thinking about Paris and how she had given that up only to later regret that impulsive choice. In his heart, Joey couldn't imagine regretting moving to be closer to Rachel, but he respected her reasons for being cautious. She was also right that he had only been in Los Angeles a short time.

Joey shrugged helplessly. "You're really set on this, aren't you?"

Rachel shrugged in return. "I am."

Joey sighed. "I guess I can take some time to think about it. It's gonna be hard to do the long distance thing though." Rachel seemed slightly saddened at their decision, so Joey decided to lighten the mood. "I'll write, and I'll call every day. You'll probably get sick of me." He grinned.

Rachel pulled her hand away and returned his smile. "That's not possible. I love you."

That made Joey's heart race in his chest. He believed Rachel, and he was ready for whatever came next. He knew that they would be together, no matter what.

* * *

Their goodbye at the airport when Rachel had to return to New York at the end of the week was, predictably, quite emotional. Joey had accompanied her to the waiting area outside her gate, and he was currently holding her in a tight embrace. Rachel was hugging him back just as fiercely.

The last call for her flight was announced, and Rachel pulled away reluctantly. "I guess I've got to go now."

Joey's hands cradled her face. Rachel's eyes were watery, and he would never let himself be the cause of her tears. He peppered quick kisses to her cheeks and the bridge of her nose until she was giggling. "I'll call you. After your flight. Tomorrow. And the next day. And the next."

She pulled back slightly with a laugh. "And the next?"

Joey nodded seriously. "And I'll be visiting on Christmas." He had planned that visit before Rachel's visit to L.A., but now he was looking forward to it even more than he had been previously.

Rachel nodded and stood up. Joey stood up as well.

Joey brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. "You have to go right now, don't you? I guess it's time to say goodbye."

Rachel nodded. "It's just for now, not forever."  She leaned in and gave him a long kiss to seal her promise, knowing that she wouldn't be able to kiss him again until December.

Joey pulled away and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." Rachel stepped back and Joey let her go. "Bye."

"Bye."

Rachel walked over to the counter and showed her boarding pass to the flight attendant. She looked behind her and saw that Joey was still watching her. She waved goodbye to him as she exited, and Joey returned the gesture. He watched her walk away until he could no longer see her.

 _"It's just for now, not forever."_ Rachel's words helped Joey feel a little better, though he still had to wipe the tears from his eyes. He knew he was going to miss Rachel like crazy, but he would be strong enough to handle it. He could handle anything for Rachel, and he knew that she felt the same way.

Joey decided, as he left the airport, that a continent would only be a temporary physical separation between them. Nothing permanent would never become between him and Rachel again, because he loved her and she loved him too. Joey would never get over Rachel because he would spend the rest of his life with her, and that certainty thrilled him. Joey was glad that he had failed at that particular goal, because despite his current sadness, being with Rachel still made him happier than he had ever been.

Joey smiled as he returned to his sister's house. Rachel would soon be in New York instead of beside him, but he was hopeful for what their future held.


End file.
